Sonchips Data

I just pulled up to O’Reily’s Auto Parts in Springfield, OH when I noticed this charming elderly lady getting out of her car. I asked her, “Good afternoon Ma’am. How is your day going?”

She replied, “I am doing good. Thank you for asking.”

I held the door for her so she could enter the store and then I made my way to the car cleaning products. I was on the search for some dashboard cleaning supplies. It was not a second later when I heard one of the store clerks ask this elderly lady, “What do ya need?”

The next thing I heard was this elderly woman saying, “Excuse ME! I am a WOMAN and you DO NOT acknowledge a woman like that. That is something you say to a man. You would address a woman like this: “Good afternoon Ma’am. What can I help you with today?”

She was going ballistic on this store clerk. Then he started to laugh at her. I was annoyed at that. She didn’t give any care in the world. This AWESOME old lady gave it to him straight from home even after he started laughing. I was proud of her! At first, when I heard him say this, I thought he was talking to me. No big deal, at least I thought it wasn’t. Boy oh boy! This is a rough ride for him. After he realized that she was not joking, he cleaned up his act and helped her in a more professional manner.

Let this be a lesson for some of you out there. Some woman are big on the respect issue. Trust me. I learned something that day too. I learned that Some woman don’t ever loose that edge. I couldn’t imagine how she was in her younger years.

This was sent to me from one of my fellow co-workers. When I first read this, I laughed my ace off. So, in turn, I figured I would go ahead and put it on here so folks can read it and pass it on. Let me know what you think.

Ahkmed the Arab came to Canada from the Middle East, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.

Finally, he went to an Arabic doctor who said: “Take dees bucket, go into de odder room, poop in de bucket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.”

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.

Coming back to the doctor he said, “It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?”

The Doctor said… “You were homesick”.

I found this video on YouTube and I laughed for a while.  What a way to tell the truth to somebody!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjkLf_X88WM

This is funny as hell.  I could see my mother doing this… if Facebook was around 15 years ago.  Anyways, ago is not the issue here.  What is the issue you ask?  Read the picture below… This is true a mom with skills!

This is a picture that was sent to me that I found so damn amusing… You HAVE got to read this one for yourself.  Some people I have forwarded this too already put it on facebook.  So if you have already seen this, I apologize.  But what the hey!  It is worth reading again and again…  Check it out!

Assailant Suffers Injuries From Fall

This is a cute little joke I got from a good friend in Florida.  I figured I would post it and hopefully a few folks can get a laugh.  Please “LIKE” if it made you at least chuckle!

A man walks into a bar.  As he steps in, he realizes it is a “gay” bar.  ”What-the-hell” he thinks, I want a drink. The bartender comes up and asks “Whats the name of your penis?”  The man says, “I’m not into any of that stuff, I just want a drink”.  “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name.  Mine is “Nike” as in “just do it.”  That guy there calls his “Snickers” because “it really satisfies”.  Get it?”  The bartender gives him a bit to think on it.  The man asks a guy next to him, “what do you call yours?”  The man responds with, “Timex”, becuase it takes a licking, keeps on ticking.  He asks another guy and is told “Chevy, like a rock!”  He thinks for a second and says “hey bartender my penis is named “Secret” now get me a damn beer!”  The bartender asks “why Secret?”  The man replies with, “because it’s strong enough for a man but its made for a woman!”

One of my buddies sent this to me from work and he said, “When I work on the schedule, this is how I feel sometimes!”  I acctually believe him.  Schedules are a severe pain in the ass sometimes.

This is how I feel when the small stupid things in life don’t work the way they should have.  Ahhh…. the pity small shit gets to me all the time!!!